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Write With Impact: Mind Your WEs & YOUs
by
Martha Carnahan
The trick to writing riveting and
persuasive marketing copy is simply this:
Know – and I mean really know, your audience – and get over there
into their shoes and talk with them, not at them.
This marketing truism makes a lot of sense and it works.
And yet, I encounter so many brochures, letters, websites and other
marketing vehicles plastered with “we” language. This is particularly true
with professional service businesses… after all, you are selling yourself or
the people in your firm, so it is natural to convey your expertise and
services by saying, “we” and “I.”
Let’s look at an example comparing the traditional selling statement (the
kind that sends most marketing copywriters into a loud groan) against a more
riveting, grabbing alternative.
Audience: Small
business owners seeking financial advice
Groaner: “Acme & Associates is a results-oriented financial consulting firm
that advises businesses in meeting the challenges of today’s economic
uncertainty.”
Grabber: “If you are like most business owners, you are passionate
about your clients’ success and expect your financial advisor to be equally
passionate about your bottom line.”
I’m sure you can see the compelling
differences between the “Groaner” and the “Grabber.” The Groaner example
conveys a posture of, “It’s all about us and we are assuming that you care!” And what are these vague “challenges”?
The second example – the “Grabber” – literally steps over to the reader’s
side of the table. Clearly, the message is that it’s all about you and shows
an understanding of what is important to you as a business owner.
You may prefer a more formal writing style. Your style is a reflection of you, and I
encourage you to write in a way that feels most natural and comfortable. But
I do stand firm on this: The effectiveness of “you” language still applies,
no matter what your preferred writing style is.
Great Trick: Name Your Audience
Start every writing project by naming your audience – actually write it at
the top of the page, as I did in the above example (be sure to delete it before you send the final out for real!).
This is a trick I learned from a very effective English professor I had in
college. He took points off our grade if we had not
named our audience. I still use this technique today – when you can clearly
define who you are writing for, you have a much better chance of hitting the
mark.
Let’s face it, your readers are inundated with distractions and plenty of
reading material… if you want their attention, you have to cut
through to the heart of the matter. And that means speaking to your reader’s
heart. Whether you are selling life coaching, accounting services or
engineering design, your clients are human beings with worries, fears,
dreams, hopes, and desires. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking, "This is
business, let’s keep that 'personal stuff' separate." If you speak to your
audience at
the level of their humanness, they are going to pay attention.
This approach doesn't mean you need
to eradicate all use of "I" or "we." You need to talk about yourself -- just
be sure the overall flavor of your persuasive copy leans more toward being
you-oriented.
Now. Go write some brilliant marketing copy!
I’d love to see your examples -- feel free to
run a few paragraphs by me and I'm glad to provide pointers. Write to me at
Martha@mc3strategies.com.
© 2005 by Martha Carnahan. All
rights reserved. You are free to use this article in your ezine
or on your website,
as long as you leave the content unaltered and include the following
attribution: "By Martha Carnahan of MC3 Strategies. Please visit
Martha's website at
http://www.YourBrilliantLife.com for additional resources on how
to build a thriving business without squeezing the life out of your
life!" Please also notify me at
martha@mc3strategies.com
to let me know where the material will appear.
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